Editor's Note: Rules is rules.

How to Use the Men's Bathroom

There are certain rules you have to follow when using urinals, stalls and queueing to use the mens room.


1. When entering the mens room, determine whether you want to do a number one or a number two.

2. If you want to do a number two, go into one of the stalls. If you want to do a number one, use a urinal. If you need a number one and a number two, use a stall.

3. When queueing for the bathroom, be sensible. If it's an absolute emergency, and you know you will have to wait for about another five minutes, but you can only hold for one more minute, ask the person in front of you if you can go in front.

4. If they decline explain it's an emergency. If they still decline, do not nag them, just try to wait.

5. To look at which urinal to use, look in tips.

6. Don't push in the queue, no matter how big the emergency is.

7. If you are very desperate while waiting in the queue, you can fidgit, jog on the spot. But to avoid discomfort, do not hold yourself, or cross your legs unless you know you will wet yourself otherwise.

8. Don't talk to other people while they are doing their business, even if you know them, as this causes discomfort.

9. Always flush the toilet/urinal.

10. It's very simple, go in, use the bathroom and go.


* Here are some laws for which urinal to use (if there were six urinals, the urinals are named 1,2,3,4,5 and 6):

* If no-one is using a urinal, go to one of the end urinals.

* If one end is occupied, use the other end.

* If both ends are occupied, use either urinal 3 or 4.

* If urinals 1,6 and 3 are occupied, use numbers 4 or 5, depending on which men look the nicest.

* If urinals 1,3,5 and 6 are occupied, use one of the stalls. If all of the stalls are occupied, wait until someone leaves a urinal. If you can't wait and you are absolutely sure you can't hold it………still don't.

* Ok, if you are wetting yourself and really, REALLY, REALLY can't hold it, use one of the urinals.

Article added: 25 January 2010

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