Editor's Note: As if there were not enough imagination involved in writing this little gem, the author suggests we use invisible materials to make this impossible task more effective.
How to Trap and Eat TexasIf you were ever in a situation of severe starvation or boredom, you may feel the urge to trap and eat Texas.
1. You will need a box, roughly one and a half times the size of Texas.
2. You will need a stick to prop up said box. Walk softly when carrying the stick. Texas is not all that tiny a state.
3. You will need a treat to lure in Texas. I will be using a gang of French antelope with matching rouge bandannas.
4. You will need a piece of string stretching from the propping stick to a safe distance; preferably behind a scenic bush.
5. You will need a matching knife (sharp) and fork (pointy) set.
6. Tie your string in a tight knot around the stick.
7. Push one end of the stick firmly against the ground. Then rest the box edge on the other end.
8. Place your delicious treat of gang natured French antelope avec matching rouge bandannas under the box.
9. Wait for Texas to take the bait.
10. When Texas has entered the box zone, pull the string, causing the stick to fall and the box to trap Texas.
11. Carefully remove Texas from the box. Do not let it escape.
12. Take the sharp knife and the pointy fork and begin the meal.
* Create a small enclosure to keep the gangtelope from roaming.
* Use invisible string, stick and box materials for maximum stealth.
* Yell war chants after Texas is successfully captured under the box.
* Still hungry afterwards? Try a shoe.
* A lasso may be needed to restrain Texas if it tries to run from the box prison.
* Knife (sharp) will be sharp.
* Fork (pointy) may be very shiny and could affect eyesight. Also pointy.
Article Added: 14 January 2008
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