Editor's Note: If, in this economy, you think step number six is correct, you probably ARE insane.

How to Stop Your Parents from Telling You You Are Sick (Not Physically)

Do your parents think you're insane? Are you acting out in school for a reason you don't want to tell them about. Do you like dead bunnies too much? Have you gone emo? Here is a guide to help get your parents off your back.


1. Get really good grades. Parents love when kids get good grades. Getting good grades always gets parents off your back in a sticky situation. Start to pay attention, do your homework and put away your video games. And stay off Twitter for a day or two now and then.

2. Are you acting out? Are you angry all the time? If so, start to control your stress. You can write, go for a walk or just do anything productive. Everyone gets stressed out at some point so this is normal. If the stress/rage is prolonged perhaps you should talk to a friend or a teacher about it. Or if you are cool with your parents, talk to them about it.

3. Quiet and creepy all the time? Like looking at dead bunnies and sniffing their blood? If so try to tone down on these activities while in front of your parents. Hide those pictures of demented mutated aliens; keep them in a corner somewhere. Join a science club because generally science kids are strange and you can express your twisted genius mind with fellow weirdos.

4. Have you gone emo? Parents may think it is nuts. If you do go emo, start off slowly with the fashion. Don't act sullen and depressed all of the time either, (Besides that's not true emo). Just say you're expressing yourself. Try coming up with some good poetry to show what a talented kid you are. Success always gets parents off a kid's back. If you want proof, notice how old people think the A students are nice and like them more (even though we know they are snobby evil *!&#$@). Draw a picture of a black rose but make it pretty. Or if you're really cool with your parents just tell them about your change. Say you got in touch with your dark arts side.

5. Don't do drugs. If you smoke, stop. If you do drugs people will assume you are nuts for harming yourself and others around you with that junk.

6. Be nice. If you're nice to your parents not only will you get more stuff for your Birthday and Christmas, they will think you're a perfectly sane little angel child. If you do hate them because they suck, well write angry letters and burn them.

7. Talk to other nice kids. Even if you hate them, talk to the goody good God-loving kids. If your parents think you're hanging around sane people, they will think you're sane.

8. Tell them how badly those words cut through your very soul or something angsty like that. That will shock them into shutting up.

9. Ignore them and move out.


* Be extra nice to your parents and do all chores.

* Get real good grades.

* Shut up if you're stupid, angry or sad.

* Put on that fake smile when you walk through the door.

* Become uninsane.


* If you are insane, get help! You might end up hurting your parents.

Article Added: 06 April 2009

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Suck it up and
act normal.

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