Editor's Note: And the pet rock rage rages on………

How to Recover from Severe Pet Rock Obsession

If you have a pet rock, chances are you got obsessed with it. Letting its feeding times make you miss that big end of the year party. Or having to bring it on your dates, thus never finding love. Well I am here to help you! I will teach you how to recover from severe pet rock obsession!

 Steps

1. Slowly cut down your time with your pet rock, if you stop all at once you will quickly go into withdrawal.

2. If you hear your pet rock whimpering, wear earplugs.

3. Remember, if you spoil your pet rock it will never become independent, so you are doing it a favor too.

4. You do not have to give up your pet rock completely, it can still be your little pal, but if you are obsessed with it people may find you weird and forlorn. It's better not to be obsessed.

5. Give your pet rock a large container of food and tell it to help itself. This way you won't have to let its schedule take over your schedule.

6. Make sure your pet rock has a friend. If you are not playing with it all the time it will get lonely. It will be less depressing for you and your rock if it has at least one good rock buddy.

7. Set aside time at least once every two months to bond with your rock. This way it will still remember how much you care about it.

 Tips

* If you find that you don't really need your pet rock and know someone that does, you can give it away.

* If after following all these steps you are still letting you pet rock take over your life I suggest you get some help from your local psychiatrist.

* If the cries of your pet rock are keeping you awake and guilty at night, read it a story and go back to bed with earplugs.

 Warnings

* By following these steps if you are super obsessed with pet rocks you may be in danger of becoming slightly crazy.

* If your pet rock becomes aggressive after following these steps I suggest you give it a warm bath in sugar, if it is still aggressive then you should give it away.


Article added: 29 January 2010


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