Editor's Note: If you have somehow stumbled across wikiHowl without first knowing what wikiHow is, you are in for a treat. Now you can find out two things—one, that there is a how-to manual which is actually several thousand times bigger than wikiHowl, and two, how to read it!

How to Read wikiHow Articles

Have you ever wanted to read those neat articles on wikiHow, but never quite understood how to see? Or how to read? This is for you.

Steps

1. Make sure you aren't blind or anything. That would seriously damage your wikiHow reading future.

2. Focus the lens of your eye onto the wikiHow article. This is assuming you are on wikiHow already. (If not, I am sure that there are many guides on how to access wikiHow on wikiHow.) Now allow the image to focus on your membrane. This is called the retina.

3. The retina is actually part of the brain that is isolated to serve as a transducer for the conversion of patterns of light into neuronal signals.

4. Now convert patterns of light into neuronal signals. This is the hard part. Focus the light on the photoreceptive cells of your retina, whatever they are. Do not panic.

5. Detect these photons of light and convert them into neuronal signals, whatever they are.

6. Process this in a hierarchical fashion, whatever that is.

7. Send these signals to your cerebral cortex.

8. Now you have successfully processed light. Congratulations. But that is just half of the challenge.

9. You will notice jumbles of symbols, separated by small gaps. These are called letters. Do not panic, for whatever reason.

10. You will need to memorize these symbols and their sounds. For example, the letter A makes an A sound. The letter B makes a B sound.

11. Now that you have the letters down pat, make with the words. Words are letters blocked together, from one letter (a) to 34 letters (supercalifragilisticexpialidotious).

12. Got that all? Now read the letters in the words on the page. If you need to spell it out, that's OK. Just make sure that you don't need to spell it out. If you need to, go back to step 12.

13. Right, you have read a wikiHow article! Woooooohooooo! Do what it says. For example, a good start is 'How to Read wikiHow Articles.' Do not panic.

 Tips

* Do not panic. The wings are not on fire.

* Make sure you follow accepted safety procedures.

* Do not misspell 'procedures'.

* Wear proper protection.

 Warnings

* This article cannot help you speak, watch television, escape from bees, or tame bears. Read wikiHow to learn how to do those.

* Watch out. The wings are not on fire though.

* Safety first!

* Those mushrooms are NOT edible.

 Things You'll Need

* Eyes

* Everything inside those eyes.

* A brain.

* Make that two. Yours is pretty small.

* A complete set of jester clothes.

* An ostrich.


Article added: 25 August 2008


wikiHowl collects funny how-to articles deleted from wikiHow.com, and brings them to you when you are looking for a laugh. wikiHow's content is shared under a Creative Commons license; with author credits for these silly or bizarre how-to's available via wikiHow's Deletion Log.

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