Editor's Note: Get some Kleenex and imagine this being narrated in the voice of Morgan Freeman.

How to Put a Tutu on a Penguin

How can a penguin be a ballerina without a tutu? Impossible. However, if you have ever tried to put a tutu on a penguin, I'm sure you have never succeeded. Therefore, we have created this page just for you!

 Steps

1. Buy a tutu of a very small size. Some alterations may be necessary to get that perfect fit that flatters your penguin's figure.

2. Buy a lasso. And a horse. And a cowboy hat.

3. Learn how to use a lasso. And ride a horse. And wear a cowboy hat. (See wikiHow articles on how to use a lasso, how to ride a horse, and how to wear a cowboy hat.)

4. Buy a plane ticket.

5. Buy a plane ticket for your horse.

6. Go to Antarctica.

7. Once in Antarctica, mount your horse. Don't forget the lasso.

8. Find a penguin. Make friends with said penguin. Forget about the lasso and buy plane tickets home for penguin, horse, and yourself.

9. Give penguin a friendship bracelet.

10. Casually place tutu on penguin when he/she is not paying attention.

11. Take a video and post it on YouTube.

12. Run away before your penguin can attack you, with his angry friends. Nothing worse than an army of happy feet…

 Tips

* Sparkly cowboy hat = <3

 Warnings

* Wear gloves. And possibly a ski mask. And shin guards. Penguins have claws, freakishly strong flippers, and attitudes.

* Make sure your penguin is well-fed so he doesn't get hungry and eat your face.

* Also make sure your penguin is okay with wearing a tutu. Nothing worse than an insecure penguin. Except maybe an army of happy feet…

 Things You'll Need

* Lasso (not really)

* Horse

* Plane ticket

* Penguin

* Tutu

* Another plane ticket for the penguin. And for the horse. So make that three plane tickets.

* Actually make that five plane tickets. The horse, the penguin, and you all need rides home too… unless you wanna swim.

* Friendship bracelet

* Sparkly (optional) cowboy hat

* Pants (airport policy)

* Underwear (it's just sanitary)


Article added: 24 April 2009

 
wikiHowl collects funny how-to articles deleted from wikiHow.com, and brings them to you when you are looking for a laugh. wikiHow's content is shared under a Creative Commons license; with author credits for these silly or bizarre how-to's available via wikiHow's Deletion Log.


Some penguins can't
afford ballet classes.


Bookmark and Share