Editor's Note: No one will catch on to your antics, or at least that is what the writer believes. He apparently thinks you are quite sly and sneaky!
How to Pretend You're Flying in a Flight SimulatorMost people don't know how to act like they're REALLY flying when in a flight simulator. Most people think, "Yeah, it looks like I'm flying, but I KNOW that this is a video game." Today, that all changes...
1. Find a flight simulator.
2. Put on some serious sunglasses.
3. Say something like, "Enjoy your life, losers," before entering the simulator.
4. Get in the simulator machine. NOTE: Even if there is not a seatbelt, ACT like you're buckling one anyways. People watching you will freak out at this move.
5. Start the simulator.
6. Shout things like, "BOGEY BOGEY BOGEY!" And, "RIGGINS, SHOOT DOWN THAT BOGEY ON MY LEFT!"
7. When the simulator finishes, scream out, "EJECTION SEAT IGNITE!" Then tumble out of the simulator and act like you're pulling a parachute rip chord.
8. For at least five minutes of complete silence, act like you're falling to the earth. The people watching will be STUNNED. Be sure to roll when you hit the ground.
* A brown or black moustache can make you look much more like a pilot.
* Other people in line for the simulator might not know what they're getting into. Say things like, "I took four physical exams to make sure I could be here today."
* Before entering the simulator, slap both knees VERY hard with your hands. People will think, "This guy must have fought in some sort of war to endure THAT kind of pain."
* Do NOT mess around with people's brains.
* Do NOT TOUCH the missile launchers in the simulator unless you want the video arcade to be obliterated.
Article added: 03 August 2009
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Convince the crowd
by defying gravity for
a little while before
entering the machine.