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How to Make Friends (Who Can't Take Hints) Leave for the Night
Have you got a friend who comes round to your house for a short chat and ends up staying for hours?
1. Ask if the friend wants to have dinner with you. Take a long time to eat your dinner and yawn until somebody comments on it. Then mention how tired you are and how you would like an early night.
2. After you have finished dinner check the time and send the kids to bed.
3. Say something about late night TV and how rubbish/good it is. Switch on the TV for a bit and when there is a break ask if the friend wants some hot chocolate before bed.
4. Talk about how late the kids usually stay up till late and how it's a miracle they're finally in bed.
5. Go to lock up the house for the night and tell the friend that the front/back/side door is open for them to go out of.
6. Act really tired by slurring your speech and squinting. Slump on the sofa and yawn.
7. Get up and change into your pyjamas and come down in your dressing gown and slippers. Get a hot water bottle.
8. If all this fails roll up some paper to make a megaphone and shout "Earth calling John Smith; it's time for you to go home".
Article added: 30 October 2009
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