Editor's Note: There is a stage of childhood in which kids take things very literally. For some this stage may last longer than others. By a decade or two.

How to Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Have you read the famous novel How to Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee? Were you disappointed because the book never actually explained how you can kill a mockingbird? If you were, following these simple steps will teach you the basics of killing mockingbirds.


1. Mockingbirds are terrible little birds, always mocking you and teasing you. To get rid of these pesky birds, you first need to find one.

2. If you are a nerd or simply really weird and easy to make fun of, you may already have a mockingbird mocking you. If you do, the second step is earning its trust.

3. Once you have earned its trust it will come up to you, quickly grab it and snap its neck.

4. Ta-da! No more pesky birds!


* Be quick, don't make it suffer, even if it made you suffer.

* Only do this if necessary. (Which it probably is, since all mockingbirds are simply evil.)


* Be very careful since mockingbirds are extremely vicious beasts!!

* They may look small and weak, but really they're terrible.

Article added: 01 May 2009

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