Editor's Note: The idea of getting a brain transplant may seem comical to you, but perhaps not to the young editor who left this guide on the wikiHow doorstep.
How to Have a Brain TransplantBored of the same thoughts? Terrible memories you wish to erase? Therapists do your head in? Want to stab your councillor? Then a brain transplant is what you need.
1. Okay, first start by going to a brain bank. You may feel uncomfortable at entering at first. But remember, after you do it, you won't remember it anyway after you have your new brain.
2. Now choose a brain that takes your fancy. There are many different types and models to choose from. Some do specific jobs and specific functions. So be careful to choose the correct one for you.
3. Like buying shoes you need the correct size. The shop assistant will measure your head size and work out your measurements. You will need a brain two sizes smaller than that of your cranium. This is essential!
4. Once you have chosen a brain and the correct size, the brain will then be ready to be installed into your skull. you will be shown to an operating theatre where it will be implanted under controlled conditions.
5. Your old brain will be removed and disposed of soon after the procedure.
6. After six hours of intensive therapy to make sure that all functions are operating at an efficient rate you will be ready to rumble!
* Make sure you are 100% positive that this is what you want to do.
* You will have no past memories and may have to reinstall your old memories from school, friends, family etc.
* Make sure to let people know that the transplant has been undergone. If you don't, people may continue to ask you about the memories you have lost. These will be no longer installed on your hard drive, and will be totally obsolete to you.
* Make sure that the Brain Bank has the Certified UKCBC Trade Union Seal of Approval and is working under British legislation.
* If the bank does not hold this certification of confirmation, they are NOT legal. They are most likely to just steal your brain and sell it on the Russian black market
Article added: 16 June 2008
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If this looks like a
good sale to you,
you need a brain