Editor's Note: One imagines a wikiHow author stranded in an airport somewhere, with benefit of internet connection to pass the time while being held hostage by an unavoidable delay.
How to Fly to England During a Snow StormHow to fly to England during a snow storm.
1. Don’t bother even going to the airport. You will just end up sleeping on a chair while some homeless man gropes you all over. If you wake up with your wallet and any sense of pride you will be one of the lucky ones.
2. Take your airline ticket and make it into a paper sled and put this under your pillow the night before your flight. If you have been good all year the flight fairy will come and grant you your wish. (You must also be British or Mexican because these are the only two countries where the flight fairy exists.)
3. If all this fails go to the airport and tell security that you are an illegal immigrant and must immediately be flown back to England. You should be whisked away in the comfort of your own private jet. (And who knows if you are lucky you might get a visit from the Queen).
4. If option #3 fails then lets face it you are running out of luck so here is another alternative. Stay at your residence and create an English atmosphere. Put Benny Hill on the TV and repeat the phrase Toodle Pip while sipping tea with scones. This should create the proper atmosphere to make you feel like you are back home (and without the hassle of the long plane flight).
* Do not try to hijack a flight or take somebody hostage. This will most likely lead to you being stuck locked up in the very place you wish to leave.
Article added: 05 June 2009
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English or not, the
gown won't help
you in the snow.