Editor's Note: The Urban Dictionary defines epic fail as, A mistake of such monumental proportions that it requires its own term in order to successfully point out the unfathomable shortcomings of he who has epically failed. Apparently most such failures, if they are committed in the online world, could be avoided if noobs would just have the sense to lurk moar.

How to Epically Fail Someone

"Epic failure" refers to when someone fails at doing something (or just does something you don't agree with). "Epically failing" someone refers to when you reprimand (punish) the failer. Here's how!

 Steps

1. Identify the failure.

2. Speak in sentence fragments. "You.. wa… you… uh…."

3. Take a deep breath.

4. Point at person in question threateningly.

5. Speak these words: "You fail!"

6. Feel free to add more. Much more. "YOU SIR, YOU FAIL!! FAILURE!!! NO ONE HAS EVER FAILED AS HARD AS YOU JUST DID RIGHT NOW!"

7. If you are fortunate enough to possess one, promptly withdraw the Fail Hammer from its protective sleeve.

8. Swing the Fail Hammer above your head and smash the failure down into the earth from whence it came.

9. Sheath your weapon.

10. Walk coolly and calmly away, feeling accomplished.

 Tips

* Get yourself a Fail Hammer for maximum effect.

* Remember, with great power comes great responsibility. Use it only in the most epic of failures.

* Learn how to properly identify a fail.

* A fail is only as good as the failure who commits it.

* LURK MOAR.

 Warnings

* Overuse of Fail Hammer may cause:

   Cancer (all forms)
   Mutation of the hands.
   Excessive Whoop Shooping.
   Arthritis.
   Increased production of vaginal fluids.

 Things You'll Need

* Fail Hammer (optional, but will elevate experience)

* A cool hat. That doesn't fail

* Knowledge of the internets

* Carbon

* Internal organs

* Guy Fawkes Mask (ONLY USE IN EVENT OF THE CATACLYSM OF THE FAIL)

 Things you won't need

* Contraceptives

* Ninja training

* A block of wood

* A cat that isn't long

* Internal hemorrhaging

 Sources and Citations

* The internet


Article added 14 Jul '08


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