Editor's Note: Shhh! Don't tell Michelle Obama.

How to Drink Dr. Pepper

We all know Dr. Pepper is SO addicting! So read this on how to properly drink the most awesomest drink ever!!…and still enjoy it at the same time. :D

 Steps

Okay. Start by driving your vehicle to a store or gas station.

1. Get out of your car and enter the store or station.

2. Find a Dr Pepper can or bottle.

3. Go to the cashier and hand him a $5 bill.

4. He will give you change back, so wear pants with pockets you fool.

5. Carefully caress your Dr. Pepper. It loves to be loved.

6. Drive home with your Dr. Pepper in the passenger's seat with it buckled. (If someone is already in the passenger seat…kick them out, dangit!)

7. When you arrive home walk, DON'T run, to the inside of your home or house..or underground hole if you live in the woods.

8. Grab a glass from your cabinet and fill it to the top with ice.

9. Tell your Dr Pepper you are about to drink him so that he can prepare himself. Once again caress your can to make him feel confident.

10. Open the can and pour the Dr. Pepper into the glass.

11. Slowwwly!

12. Carefully apply the glass to your lips.

13. If you have really big lips then try sipping very light…Dr. Peppers do not like huge lips. I am sorry.

14. Drink carefully.

15. Gently place the cup down and give the Dr Pepper a rest.

16. Then drink some more. This procedure should take an hour or longer.

17. Enjoy your Dr. Pepper.

18. When you are done say good-bye to your can and then what the heck, throw it away.

19. You did it!!

 Tips

* Be patient.

* Be nice.

* Be careful.

* UNICORNS ARE WATCHING YOU!

 Warnings

*NO BIG LIPS!!

 Things You'll Need

* DR PEPPER

* A FIVE DOLLAR BILL

* A GLASS

* ICE


Article added: 19 April 2010


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Dr Pepper makes a
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