Editor's Note: PIN number reversal hoax gotcha down? Never mind... typing in your PIN number backwards may not bring the police to help, but there are other ways to protect yourself from the tricky prospect of opening a checking account at the bank.

How to Create a Checking Account

A checking account is a storage solution for monetary amounts. Checking accounts allow a safe and efficient way to store, obtain, and keep track of all actions pertaining to your finances.


1. Prepare for the trip. Preparation assures that when you reach your destination, the flow of the act will run smoothly without problems. Items needed are as follows: two forms of identification such as a driver's license and your social security card, or a reputable form of picture ID and maybe a snack. The minimum deposit amount for the bank of your choosing, usually 100 to 150 dollars for your first account.

2. Load up. What is also needed to open an account, and this is most important regardless of which bank you choose: a trusty .44 Calibre Magnum, preferably a Taurus Raging Bull. Don't forget the ammo, you'll need a lot of it preloaded into clips.

3. Head to the bank. Hop on your bicycle or in your car and travel to a bank of your own choosing, making sure it's relatively local, to hinder inconvenience. Drive there carefully with identification, funds, etc. handy and be sure not to give these items to anyone. Observe your surroundings as you go and watch out for threats of any kind.

4. Head to the front desk. Remember, patience and courtesy will aid you throughout life so if there happens to be a line, follow it and remain orderly no matter how long it takes because you will eventually get your fair turn. Find the appropriate desk and teller to start your account. Don't forget to approach with a smile.

5. Greet them kindly and ask to inquire about a checking account. Most banks do this free. Swiftly and fearlessly pull out your wallet and obtain your two forms of ID. Answer the teller's questions to the best of your abilities. Be kind and quick to answer.

6. Secure the escape route. Eventually you will be asked to choose a PIN number. A PIN number is a four digit code composed of numbers, that acts as a password. After you have secured your PIN, you will be asked to deposit your funds. The teller will reach under her desk and open a drawer, or safety box for holding not yet processed funds all in cash. As she does this, reach into your pocket or bag of which the magnum is stored, and cock the gun making sure it's loaded with the safety off. Coughing or snorting, albeit rude, will hide the clacking sounds of the firearm which is considered more rude than aforementioned acts. If she asks what the noise was, a reply of I apologize, I'm coming down with a cold or Mind your own business will suffice. And be sure to remember your PIN number, as it secures your path to safe banking.

7. Act quickly. Your information has been collected, your PIN memorized, and your money deposited; you're in the clear. Collect your bank card, and any information you believe necessary. Thank the teller, and head to your car.

8. Have some fun. Now that you've successfully obtained a banking account, debit card, and new means of managing your finances, head to the gun range and unload your happiness with your favorite firearm.


* Carry along an extra 20 just in case there is a starter fee for checking accounts.

* Student IDs cannot be accepted as a form of ID even if they have your picture.

* If you are shy, wear a black ski mask with face holes to boost confidence!


* Banks are closed on weekends.

Article added: 31 March 2008

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