Editor's Note: Who brought us this non sequitur comic of an article, an exercise in stream of consciousness? That is what makes wikis so popular with the masses. Anyone can edit! Perhaps this comes from a student creating an internal monologue while writing a paper on James Joyce or Marcel Proust. We shall never know...
How to Put a Piece of Cartoon Pie on Your HeadDung beetles are fully capable of operating a juicer without an instruction manual. 'What does this have to do with me,' you may ask. Well, you're a dung beetle, right?? Go have some juice!
1. Plug in a travel charger for a piece of electronic gear that you no longer own. Now, try to force the connector into another piece of electronic gear you own that no longer works.
2. Buy 49 gallons of white paint from a gas station.
3. Trip over your own feet and knock a couple of your teeth out.
4. Put small stones in the empty tooth sockets.
5. Learn to play bridge.
6. Organize a bridge game with several acquaintances who don't play bridge.
7. When they show up ask them 'what the hell are you doing here?'
8. Get a vaccination for some random illness.
* Always use Tupperware.
* Balance the protractor on your head so everyone can see how fucked up you are.
* Next time you are in the grocery store picking up a new set of tires, repeatedly yell out 'I have a small dinosaur in my uterus!' until the manager tackles you and locks you in the giant meat freezer.
* Sand all the paint off of your Dodge minivan and coat it with bean sprouts. Everyone will have such fun!
* Call your doctor and ask him if you should buy a new swing set for your space heater. It's always good to get a second opinion.
*Invest in sewage.
* Watch out for wild, stinging insects.
* Watch out for fucked up rodents with erections looking for used bakery products.
* Watch out for left handed policemen who are taking Viagra for migraines and wear their socks on their hands like Billy Joel used to do. Is bad!
Article Added: 28 January 2008
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