Editor's Note: Since keys to the car are mentioned, we are guessing this author is addressing only those who don't live within walking distance of a pants store.

How to Buy Pants

Sure, your mom has bought you pants all your life, but it's now time to leave the nest.

1. Locate your car keys.

2. Approach your car keys.

3. Grasp your keys in your hand firmly.

4. Approach your garage.

5. Open your garage door.

6. Open your car door.

7. Get into your car.

8. Shut your car door.

9. Put the keys into the ignition.

10. Put the car in reverse.

11. Pull onto the road.

12. Go to the store.

13. Take your keys out of your ignition.

14. Open your car door.

15. Shut your car door.

16. Lock your car door.

17. Approach the store.

18. Walk into the store.

19. Go to the clothing section.

20. Take the desired pants off the rack.

21. Walk to the register.

22. Buy your future pants.

23. Walk out of the store with pride and dignity.

24. Congratulations! You've bought your own pair of pants!

25. Drive home.


* Don't steal them

 Things You'll Need

* Money

* Car, SUV, or other vehicle

* A local store

Article added: 09 January 2009

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Get a pair of pants,
for gosh sake!

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