Editors' Note: Here we see language such as "the shops" and "colours", as we so often do in the amusing wikiHows showing the most effort. Can it be that some of the funnier writers of wikiHows live well east of New York City? You can leave your hat on, but it is something to scratch your head about.

How to Buy a Cool Hat

Cool hats are the glue that bind society together. More people should be wearing cool hats. A lack of cool hats can comfortably explain the rise in crime rates (particularly in the Bristol area).

Seventy-percent of crime committed in the Bristol area is due to a lack of cool hats

                                 --- Landlord of The Three Lions, West Street.


1. Wake up.

2. Go through your normal morning routine.

3. Walk to the shops.

4. Go to the second least expensive clothes shop in your area.

5. Find hat section.

6. Cool hats are those in the style of trilby, bowler, top, flat peak and panama.

7. All colours are cool.

8. Take hat to checkout (unless you are a professional thief and therefore have a special discount).

9. Purchase hat.

10. Wear hat.

11. Be cool.


* Get hat

* Wear hat

* Fly!


*Ensure clothing is worn to the shops as it may or may not be illegal not to.

*Avoid baseball caps at all costs.

Things You'll Need


*A prior knowledge of hat types

Article added: 20 October 2008

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Once you have the
hat, all you need is
a cool head!

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