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How to Bug Your Teacher

Are you one of those trouble-makers? Do you wish you were? Well here's how to make sure your teacher HATES you! Just kidding… not really.


1. Pick your nose and ask if you can store it under your desk for the winter.

2. When taking your test tell your teacher she/he has a mistake on her/his answer sheet.

3. Every day ask your teacher if you can go to the bathroom at a specific time and say you have urinary patterns.

4. Tell her/him your doctor recommended you play with a toy puppet to improve social skills and that your puppet feels neglected that it doesn't have a desk.

5. Ask her/him where she/he got her/his shoes and loudly whisper to the person next to you, remind me never to go there.

6. Bring in your Saint Bernard and then tell your teacher he/she's giving birth.

7. Hide a crab in her/his lunch or on her/his chair. Wait for the scream.

8. Propose an end-of-the-week party (weekly) and ask if she/he would be your date.

9. Tell your teacher you are having a mental breakdown and start running around the room making snorting pig noises.

10. Wink at him/her every time he/she looks your way.

11. Raise your eyebrows suggestively after class and say, So… I'll see you tomorrow then? Wait… after response or after no response continue with, So it's a date.

12. Memorize where she/he lives and show up at the exact same time every day and bring a group of students and ask for a tour of the house.

13. If she/he has a picture in the room or shows a picture, tell the teacher you thought they didn't have cameras back then.

14. Tell her/him you are drunk and stumble around the room asking for the teacher's first name.

15. Get the class pet out and let it crawl/run/walk/hobble/fly around the room.

16. Pretend you have two different personalities and talk in the third person.

17. Call her/him every day at the exact time.

18. Ask her/him if they are pregnant (especially good if it's a male teacher).

19. Talk in Spanish once every week for the whole period.

20. Ask what they are going to name their new bundle of joy, (again,  especially good if it's a male teacher).

21. When the principal comes in start crying and when he/she asks what's wrong just give the teacher a dirty look.

22. Come to class in a bathing suit.

23. Come to class dressed as a hobo.

24. Come to class dressed in an identical outfit to your teacher.

25. Follow your teacher around all day and eat lunch with her/him.

26. Leave secret admirer notes on his/her desk (good if they're married).

27. If you see the teacher's spouse, spazz out and yell at the teacher, What about us? I thought we had something special, and  then start singing Don't forget about us by Mariah Carey.


* You may fail this class.

* Attempt at own risk.

* No fingers/toes/noses/various body parts can be pointed at the makers of this how-to.

  Things You'll Need

* A teacher

Article added: 26 May 2008

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Go ahead, make
this teacher's day!

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