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How to Be Sam Birt

Sam Birt is a local musician who is renowned throughout the west midlands. He has released many successful albums and is a star worldwide.

 Biography

1. Sam Birt is a superstar who lives in Cressage, Shropshire, UK.

2. He is famous worldwide and is very popular locally, with millions of fans.

3. He grew up fighting clones of The Hulk with his mind, as part of his job defending a local aquarium that he fished in.

4. He was born on the 29th of January.

5. He invented gravity, and Kitkats and is currently fifteen and planning to fight God with a fish finger.

6. His singing career began two months before he was born. It is a matter of some dispute as to whether he was born on Mount Everest or under the sea, or in a bin in Cressage.

7. He learned to play seventeen different instruments by the time he was eight.

8. He gave birth to the Queen Victoria at age ten, and his singing career took off when Tom Challen became his manager and he joined the 'Music train' (choo choo).

 Discography

Sam Birt wrote and performed the following songs:
* Indiana Jones theme tune
* The national anthems of seven different countries
* All the songs in 'I am a plastic cup' an album that sold five million copies
* Everything that the Beatles sang
* The openings of several of Wolfgang Mozart's songs

 Family

* Birt gave birth to most of the royal family and a hobo who tapdances in Manchester.

 Steps

* We will all die

 Tips

* Die

 Warnings

 * Behind you!


Article Added: 04 August 2008


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Sam Birt was born in
a bin and may live there still.


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