Editor's Note: wikiHow is loaded up with articles about how to be someone, written no doubt, by young kids in massive identity crisis. Some admins like to delete these on the grounds that those who are not the person can't possibly use the instructions to become the person,  and the person who already is the person does not need the instructions about how to be what he is already busy being!

How to Be Sam Birt

Sam Birt is a local musician who is renowned throughout the west midlands. He has released many successful albums and is a star worldwide.


1. Sam Birt is a superstar who lives in Cressage, Shropshire, UK.

2. He is famous worldwide and is very popular locally, with millions of fans.

3. He grew up fighting clones of The Hulk with his mind, as part of his job defending a local aquarium that he fished in.

4. He was born on the 29th of January.

5. He invented gravity, and Kitkats and is currently fifteen and planning to fight God with a fish finger.

6. His singing career began two months before he was born. It is a matter of some dispute as to whether he was born on Mount Everest or under the sea, or in a bin in Cressage.

7. He learned to play seventeen different instruments by the time he was eight.

8. He gave birth to the Queen Victoria at age ten, and his singing career took off when Tom Challen became his manager and he joined the 'Music train' (choo choo).


Sam Birt wrote and performed the following songs:
* Indiana Jones theme tune
* The national anthems of seven different countries
* All the songs in 'I am a plastic cup' an album that sold five million copies
* Everything that the Beatles sang
* The openings of several of Wolfgang Mozart's songs


* Birt gave birth to most of the royal family and a hobo who tapdances in Manchester.


* We will all die


* Die


 * Behind you!

Article Added: 04 August 2008

wikiHowl collects funny how-to articles deleted from wikiHow, and brings them to you when you are looking for a laugh. wikiHow's content is shared under a Creative Commons license; with author credits for these silly or bizarre how-to's available via wikiHow's Deletion Log.

Sam Birt was born in
a bin and may live there still.

Bookmark and Share