Editor's Note: It's very easy. Just get a job at a juice bar and be rich, and the rest will follow.

How to Be Like a Bratz Doll

Want to be a slut - oops, I mean the classless form of Barbie - oops, I mean Bratz doll? Then you've come to the right place!

 Steps

1. First, become really skinny. You need to be skinny enough so that you can see your collarbones and ribcage. (Note: I am joking. Please, please don't ever look like that, it's unhealthy.)

2. Second, dye your hair some unnatural color. Platinum blond, jet black, fiery red or simple brunette works well enough. It should be a color that is ridiculously common and plastic!

3. Always wear make up. Wherever you go. This means mascara and eyeliner (layered on thick, of course), bold eyeshadow (usually glittery) and copious amounts of lipstick and lip gloss. This is ALWAYS outlined with a lip liner. Lip liner is the key to make your lips look huge, which is a necessity. Also, try collagen. This will give your lips a full, "seductive" look.

4. Your skin should look plastic at ALL times. So this means flawless, flawless, flawless! If you have a single pimple, you should go to the dermatologist and demand an acne-removal treatment. Or get your skin peeled.

5. Now, the most important step: CLOTHES! Your clothes should always be short. Short skirts and dresses are a necessity. Always wear a bit of bling and glitter. Ed Hardy is so stylish, the Bratz would approve. Midriff bearing tops are also a necessity. Also, start going to a lot of balls, and wear OTT glitter and lace and silk filled gowns with flowing skirts and plunging necklaces. Because that is 100% socially acceptable.

6. Now for career. You can do anything, really, that a Bratz has done. A sports star, movie star, something in beauty, working at a juice bar - any of these are acceptable.

7. Be rich. Usually Bratz have their parents money to support them, but if that won't work, just get a super high paying job or rich boyfriend.

8. YOU NEED A BOYFRIEND! Some guy with tanned skin who dresses a little TOO well, if you know what I mean. He must be a jock, smart guy or muso. Never, ever, EVER date an emo. Bratz are against everything emo!

9. Morals. Your morals are to have really, really, big lips, to look slutty - oops, I mean good at all times and to be obsessed with fashion.

10. Always have sleepovers. And look like sluts.

11. You are OBSESSED with shopping! Shop, shop, shop, round the clock. Even in school hours. It's your path to greatness, my doll-obsessed friend.

 Tips

* Never associate with emos. Just don't, ok?

* Shop at places like Ed Hardy but mix it up with simple pieces from Abercrombie and then throw in show stopping jewelery pieces.

* You love to dance and do a lot of sport, by the way. Becoming a cheerleader is a great thing to do.

* Listen to pop music.

* Talk really high-pitched and girly-like. Also your key to greatness.

* Remember, never smile. Always pout.

* It's always a good idea to become a rock star and break into clubs when your underage to randomly perform on stage. Coz that's just what you do.

 Warnings

* Don't go TOO over the top. Nothing Lady GaGa like.

* Never be caught without make-up. Even at sleepovers.

* Don't spend much time on computers. Go shopping, to football games and parties instead.

* Don't let your grades drop! Bratz are perfect, remember, so they wouldn't have bad grades.

* Don't be scared of things. Whether it's of getting caught throwing up your last meal or breaking into a club, be fearless at all times.

 Things You'll Need

* Copious amounts of designer make up

* Sparkly clothes

* Lots of jeans and mini skirts

* Hair straightener

* A massive house

* Cell phone

* Laptop

* iPod

* Lots and lots of money

* Camera, to take "hot" photos

* A boyfriend

* A tight-knit group of equally Bratz-like friends. (One must be white, one must be Asian, one must be black and one must be Latino. You'd be illegal if it weren't for your diversity.)

* Rich parents

* MONEY

* Travel availability


Article added: 02 August 2010


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Bratz, not bats!

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