Editor's Note: This article started its short life at wikiHow as a piece about how to dress like a spoiled brat of a rich girl a la Paris Hilton or somesuch. But another editor, annoyed at the fact that people don't seem to understand what the term "heiress" really means, rewrote it entirely, with this result.

How to Be an Heiress

An heiress is a person, usually of the female persuasion, who stands to inherit a great deal of money, property or stock……someday. If someone in your family is already incredibly wealthy, you can skip the first two steps.


1. Help your parents or a spinster aunt to make a fortune in oil wells, solar energy, hotels, or some new Internet utility. Encourage them to create something dropdead miraculous and sell it. They can make a ton of money that way.

2. Adopt yourself out to a rich family if you can't get your parents interested in making a fortune. Check the Forbes 500 for prospects. Every year, they publish a map showing the locations of the richest Americans, and if you live in the states, you might be able to find someone close by who is interested. If you are not sure how to proceed, post a request for a wikiHow on how to get adopted by a very wealthy family, as a preteen or an adolescent, or even as an adult. This part is certain to be a little bit tricky. Chances are you will greatly benefit from someone who has already managed a WPA (wealthy people adoption) and is willing to write up a little article about how to do it.

3. Talk to your parents, once you have really rich ones. You need to know what they are going to do with all their money when they die. If they wish to give all the money to charity, you have little hope of becoming an heiress. So you might have to get a job instead. If on the other hand, they are looking for someone to whom to bequeath all their wordly belongings, you're half way there. Be nice to them and maybe they will name you in their will.

4. Keep being nice. For a long time. You may have to be nice for many many years and offer to assist with all kind of things from helping your parents move into their new condo by the beach, to taking out the trash when you go to visit on the maid's day off.

5. Show responsibility in the management of your life and affairs. You really don't want your rents appointing some grumpy old trustee to lord over your fortune for you and dole it out little by little. The more responsible you show yourself to be, the more likely your parents will want you to have everything and will feel comfortable about you handling it all.

6. Give up any drug or alcohol tendencies you might have drifted into. Relatives tend not to want to give a lot of money to kids who are just going to fritter it away on some nasty habit.

7. Keep being nice. For a long time. Yes, for a very long time. Possibly years or even decades. You will not become an heiress until the people leaving you the money have lived out their natural lifespans. Life expectancies are constantly creeping upwards. This could take a while.

8. Wait. The waiting is the hardest part of becoming an heiress. In the meantime, get yourself a career or a really fun hobby. Learn to play golf or something if you have to. That will help you pass the time.

9. Wait some more. Sooner or later they will die. That is when you get the money. Congratulations! Now you are an heiress.


* For more info: Read. You can read books like: Confessions of an Heiress, Charm School, Your Heiress Diary, etc. etc. etc...

* Try not to have a lot of siblings at the time of the death of the wealthy relatives. You will still technically be an heiress, but you might have to share.


* Do not encourage your potential testators to play the lottery, as this is unlikely to result in a win, and if they do win, they will be unlikely to hold onto the money anyway. This means no heiress status for you. It is best for them to build wealth through working, business interests, writing a best seller (Harry Potter would be good) or property development.

* You may lose out if the government you live under plans to increase estate taxes. Oh well. Vote republican just to be on the safe side. Maybe it will help.

* Don't die first. That will ruin your whole plan.

 Things You'll Need

* Copy of Forbes Magazine OR rich parents

* Good money management skills

* Lack of costly habits

* Time—probably a few decades

Article added: 18 July 2008

wikiHowl collects funny how-to articles deleted from wikiHow.com, and brings them to you when you are looking for a laugh. wikiHow's content is shared under a Creative Commons license; with author credits for these silly or bizarre how-to's available via wikiHow's Deletion Log.

Waiting around to
become an heiress
is like sitting and
watching your
toenails grow.

Bookmark and Share