Editor's Note: Ah, the togetherness of a good strip club.

How to Be a Stripping Teddy Bear

A Legal Substitution For Stripping For People Under The Age Of 18 Or For Those Who Just Don't Like Strip Clubs/Parties, But The Togetherness It Brings.

Items you will need to gather: 1 Teddy Bear Suit, 1 or more Strippers outfits, a music player, stage, music, proper lighting (Strobe light Colored Lights).


1. Gather friends/colleagues into a room around the stage (this can be a sturdy table, an elevated platform, the kitchen floor… etc.) Have all participants make sure that they have a clear view of the stage and the performer.

2. Put on pre-purchased Teddy Bear Suit. Then make sure you pull on corresponding outfit on over it. (fireman, policeman, doctor, Etc…) make sure all clothes are securely fastened and saunter out onto stage.

3. Walk seductively over to the music and turn on some techno music.

4. Go center stage and begin to remove the outfit. While removing said outfit pull off some sexy dance moves (Disco, Hip-hop, Macarena, Etc.)

5. Make sure you swing the removed clothing around and throw it into the audience like you are the hottest thing since Brittney Spears.

6. Strip down to that Teddy Bear Suit for that grand finale.


* Make sure you practice your sexy walk a few times first

* Don't forget you're in a bear suit, remember that you will have less space in between you and objects around you.

* Pick a dance routine ahead of time so you look like you know what you're doing

 Optional Items

* Voice Box

* Disco Ball


* You may develop a mob of fanatic fans who chase you around screaming.

* Late night phone calls and lack of social life, due to being booked solid may occur.

Article added: 23 March 2009

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Get your teddy bear
suit nice and clean.

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