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How to Annoy Walmart Employees

Find yourself in Walmart with vain, or just plain-out grouchy employees? We all do at some point or another. Want to get under their skin? Here's how!


1. Look like you need help by glancing over at an employee, and when they come over and ask you, say "Marissa told me not to talk to you!" And walk away angrily, muttering things like "No Marissa, I won't do the chicken dance. NO, YOU DO IT!", or anything very random.

2. Get a cart and put totally random stuff in it, like flip flops in the winter, pads or tampons (works especially well for guys!), or anything else totally strange, and leave it in the middle of the aisle.

3. Go into the dressing rooms, and wait for about 3 minutes. Then yell out really loud, "There's no toilet paper in here!"

4. Walk up to a totally random employee, and say, "I really have to go to the bathroom!" And dance around like you really do need to go badly. Then say,"Oh, never mind. That felt good." and walk away, skipping or humming.

5. Go up to the music sample machines, turn them up full blast, and walk away. When somebody turns it down, walk back and turn it up again. Do this for as long as you like.

6. Walk up to somebody and throw something in their cart, and stare at them for a really long time. When they say something, start yelling, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? THIS IS MY CART, GET YOUR OWN!" and pile more things in their cart until it's full. Then walk away.

7. Run screaming through the aisles. When somebody stops you, yell "What are you talking about? You're a crazy person! I'm gonna call the cops on you!" Then cry and walk off, weeping into your hands, occasionally turning around to say something mean to the person, like weirdo, loser, meanie, go away and get a life, so hurtful, or anything else you can come up with.

8. Walk your dog in the store. Praise the dog if he craps on the floor.

9. Go to the toy section where the musical kids toys are. Turn one on, and when it stops playing music, scream,"Why did you stop singing!? DON'T STOP SINGING!" Then burst into tears, and run away.


* Use some common sense. Things like being very disruptive can get you in trouble

Article added: 19 March 2010

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Get a cart and put
totally random stuff
in it.

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