Editor's Note: You are having a nice sandwich in Linkin Park and along comes a "Pieris virginiensis" or a "Polygonia progne" or perhaps a horde of "Nymphalis vaualbum". Whatcha gonna do? Butterfly busters!
How to Survive a Butterfly Attack
Here are some especially helpful tips in the event of a dangerous and agitated butterfly encounter.
1. Do not anger the butterfly.
2. In the event of an angry butterfly, step slowly away while avoiding eye contact with the butterfly.
3. If this fails, proceed to spray the beast with pepperspray, Calvin Klein Eternity or chocolate syrup. All have been proven effective.
4. If the above do not work either, run away screaming like a little girl.
5. If you survive your attack, be very very grateful. They're nasty little buggers.
* Do not provoke a butterfly.
* Do not go looking for a fight with a butterfly, especially if the butterfly is drunk. They will attack.
* DO not try to bribe the butterfly with monetary gifts, chocolate, flowers, etc.
* However, occasionally, take-out Chinese food will work to stall the butterfly so you can get away.
* Butterfly attacks can result in severe injuries or death.
* Proceed with caution.
Article added: 29 March 2010
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